Thinking of Suicide?

When the shit in your head and the pain in your gut pushes you to your limit, call before you kill yourself or others.

800-273-TALK (800-273-8255)


877-WAR-VETS (877-927-8387)

This center is called The Combat Call Center, and is an around the clock confidential call center where you Warriors and family members can talk about your experiences, feelings and any other issues you’re facing from the impact of deployment. Let’s face it, living in civilian society ain’t easy once you’ve been down range.

This Combat Call Center will give you a chance to talk to another Warrior, who knows how you feel and sure as hell won’t judge you. Remember that everything you’re feelin’ and everything you’re thinkin’ is NORMAL for what you’ve experienced.

The Combat Call Center is staffed by Combat Veterans from all eras and family members of Combat Veterans. So be at ease, give ’em a call and talk to someone who cares!

Your fellow Warriors are waiting for “your” call!




Don’t hesitate to call, they know how to help you!

  • National Suicide Hot Line
    • 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2443
    • 1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-273-8255
  • for Hot Lines in your State.


This is no bull shit!!  I’ve been there… Let’s talk a bit…

From a combat rifleman’s view of things, I’m gonna talk about the Whys.  That means, “why” we feel like a pile of dried dog shit, with a hopeless attitude and desire to end it all.

Let’s start with what I heard from a fellow Warrior from the Spec. Ops community. This Soldier fights this battle, as I do, every single day.

He said, “Death is a calling on the battlefield, and facing death is the most intimate experience we share together as Warriors, when we walk outside the wire to engage the enemy.”

He then went on to say that “When our beloved Friends die, we feel cheated, and long to make that step with them, to follow them even further into battle, to be by their side and protect them on the coming missions.”

I never thought about it like that, but it rings true to me. It may to you as well. The same thing may apply to civilians.

So then, let’s look at what we are feeling when we have that gun in our mouth or are positioning that noose. If we’ve just come back from war, or are still there, we’ve been through experiences that no one in hell understands except our fellow Warriors, our Brothers and Sisters.

We may be feeling Guilt, over something we could have done but didn’t do.  We may also be feeling Survivor Guilt because we’re alive and our Friends aren’t. Or they’re still in that shit hole and we’re suck’in up the good life here in the States. Most likely, we’re feeling Loss over the True Friends we’ve watched die.  These three things alone are enough to jam a round in anybody’s brain housing group.

Now add to that, the feelings of Distrust of anyone not a Warrior, feeling like an Outcast in the country you thought you were fighting to defend, the need for Combat Adrenaline that you’re now hooked on.  You also have the Desire to Continue Killing, and any excuse and anyone will do. That’s because we need to learn “quickly” to “control” that Beast, the primal side, or dark side of our nature; that we needed to survive in war, but don’t need controlling us in civilian life.

You start’in to get the picture?  And on top of all that, you’re in physical and mental pain. Your head is exploding, your chest feels like it’s in a vise, and your guts are wrenching.

You want to end it all, and now.  But that ain’t the answer!

I had nobody to help my Green Ass in the old daysToday, you do!

I tried Combat Suicide and failed. That made the survivor guilt even worse.  Some Combat Vets do the Police Suicide route, and take a lot of really fine Law Enforcement Officers with’em.  Some try drink’in themselves to death like I did and some just plain stick the gun in their mouths and pull the trigger.  All of this is needless and useless! By the way, spineless people don’t kill themselves.  It takes a lot of strength to end your own life.

Here’s why kill’in yourself is not the answer. It’s because we as Warriors, have the strength to Improvise, Overcome and Adapt to anything in this Civilian World!  As long as we show up for muster tomorrow.  Just get through the moment and don’t quit! It may help some, to simply Honor the dead Brothers and Sisters we’ve lost, by staying alive. After all, “If they thought you were worth dying for, don’t you think you’re worth living for?”  It helps me to think about that a bit.

A lot of times, I just got things confused.  People really weren’t disappointed with me, and did in fact love me.  They just didn’t understand how to help.  But now they do! There are a lot of us Viet Vets that can and will help you.  There are a lot of very concerned and loving people who can and will also help you.  So why not give us all a chance to help you remember your strength as a Warrior, and  coach you toward refocusing  yourself toward a prosperous life ahead?

I shit you not!  It worked for me!   And, I know it can work for you with the right kind of help.

Think about this parable from the Native American culture…




Have you ever felt as though two wolves were fighting inside your mind?One is afraid, angry, feeling guilty and wants to die.The other is positive, focused on the future, and thinks there might be opportunity ahead.

Want to know which one will win?


Here’s some great resources:

  • Be sure and go to the “Vet Center” Icon on the navigation bar of this website, for a Vet Center near you. You can walk in the door and get help on the spot!  If your hesitant about calling, contact me6:30 am to 5:30 pm Mountain Time and I will coordinate with them and get them to call you.

This is an excellent source for finding out what’s going on in the government with Troop issues.

For bereavement and coping.

Paul Riecokhff is the Executive Director, a Combat Veteran and this website is a wealth of help and information.

In New Mexico

For Vets that have purple hearts this is a great source of help and support.

This group helps with financial assistance and support.

This group helps with financial assistance and support.

1-800-959-TAPS (8277)

An excellent resource for survivor assistance.

For Veterans that need money and shelter, go to this site and hit the links to resources.

This is for financial assistance and support.

This is for support and resources.

Support for those who have lost a son or daughter.

This is support for family members who have lost loved ones.














If you would like to discuss any challenges you may be dealing with, please contact me. (